Tits on a boar pig...this is the kind of mantra I was raised up on. Nothing fancy. Just good old, down to earth sayings that made their point.

"(fill in the blank) is as useless as tits on a boar pig."

Frankly, I didn't know what a boar pig was or whether or not they had tits but when my mom used that phrase, I knew what she meant.

This person referred to was of no help - useless - worthless - incompetent - a real good for nothing.

A useful metaphor for a plethora of situations and people, don't you think?

To this day, I take my mom's word for it. I assume boar pigs don't have tits....but then I've never googled it either.